Mental Health Matters

Hey. If your mental health is struggling right now, that’s okay. You are valid, you are appreciated and loved, and what you feel matters. (Btw— you can always message me, if you want someone to talk to.) ⁠

2020 has been a real weird year. Our norms are not the normal right now. Just remember that as life goes through seasons, we also go through seasons. Some are longer or darker or harder than others. That is also okay. ⁠

Don’t give up. As with seasons, after the dark, there is always light again, and the sun always shines again. Remember that. 🙏🏻

Take each day at a time. Breathe. Allow yourself some space. You don’t have to figure it all out right now. It will all be okay… because you will be okay.

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A Sincere Reflection…

I feel as though something in me has broken open.

I don’t know if it’s my body beginning to heal, my sparkle coming back, an invitation from God to expand my perspective, or all of the above, but whatever it is, I can feel myself breaking open.

And it is invigorating.

This week, I found myself at the beach a lot.

As I strolled up and down my little section of the shore,
I listened to the sounds of the ocean.

I watched how the waves danced along the sand.
I followed the birds as they glided inches above the water, looking for fish.
I looked out to the sky and the clouds and the horizon ~ and somehow, it looked much bigger to me than ever before.

I’ve walked this beach many times before, but the expansiveness had never felt so profound.

And all at once, I was filled with peace, patience, goodness, purpose, wonder…
An assurance of my journey and a rush of faith now felt like a strong river flowing right through my heart.

And I became still. And submissive. And trustworthy.

I breathed it in, and it sort of felt like something in me had just… released.

After feeling so strange and almost flat for so long, once again, my insides filled with wonder.
Life began to feel open and wild and full of opportunities again.

Living with an open and spiritual heart has always been important to me, and I so check in with myself often to see if I’m where I belong.

And for the longest time, I felt different… sort of flat and closed off.
But I never stopped praying and visualizing and setting my intentions to become open once more.

And now, a door has swung open, and I am walking through it.
I feel connected. I feel stronger. I feel light.
And it feels so. good.

And with this, I say to you:

Do not lose hope. Keep setting intentions. Meditate. Pray.

Do whatever it is you do to keep your connection… and keep your perspective beyond just your own little world. It’s okay to fall into seasons where we retreat inward, but don’t get stuck there.

When we refocus our energy upward and outward, as opposed to downward and inward, that’s where the doors open.

That’s where resonance happens.

That’s where the magic lies.

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Thoughts on My Mind

One of the hardest things about this brain injury recovery has been not being able to turn to music and singing for peace and solace.
Right now, complex music can be hard for my brain to process, songwriting is taxing and confusing, singing brings on pain, and the timing and flow of my fingers for playing the piano and guitar is still far from perfect.
The strange thing is… I find that I have to remind myself that I am a musician.
That I am a performer.
That I am a dancer.
That I flip my hair and jump up and down and put it all out there for thousands of amazing kids in auditoriums, several times a week.
YES, I actually do these things and YES, they are the things that make me come alive.
And to be totally honest,
I feel like I’m missing a big piece of me and within me there is this void.
But there’s a funny thing about voids.
They make you feel empty, but at the same time, they provide an opportunity for you to expand.
In some pretty amazing ways, in the midst of being empty, I have actually expanded.
I have expanded in hope.
I have expanded in gratitude.
I have expanded in patience.
Maybe I can’t sing or play music how my soul wants to right now.
Maybe I can’t write new shows or plan big motivational talks right now.
Maybe it’s even hard for me to feel my 100% normal self because of strange happenings in my brain right now.
But I CAN savor the expansion I have been given, and make a vow to myself that when do I get fully back up on my feet, I will never, ever take anything for granted again.
Voids are uncomfortable.
But expansions are good.
And it’s all a part of the growth and the journey and part of being a total work in progress.
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